This is my Sassy. I miss her soooooo much. Throughout some of my mood disorer, she represented pure, unconditional love to me...I miss her so much...
No, she hasn't passed away...she lives with my parents as I can't have her in my basement suite. She is happy there, and that is the one thing that keeps me from bawling when I wish she was here to cuddle with me. I wish people like my landlord understood how much pets can soothe the wounded soul, and how if they are maintained properly, they aren't a huge mess. One day, I hope, I can have her living under my roof again. I guess I'm a pessimist as I don't think that'll ever happen...she's getting old, her hearing is going and so is her eyesight.
I miss her soooooo much.
I know I haven't posted for about a month and a half. I was feeling great for a while so I didn't think I needed to blog. Then I got deporessed, so I didn't feel like blogging. Then I felt great again and...well...you get the drift. I am in a depressed state again, which I hate. I feel so unconfident; so fat; so ugly etc.
Over this whole time I have been figuring out what has been going on with my mental health, I gained about 60lbs. I have never been this big, so I feel as though I am in a suit of sorts. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I try not to think about it and I try to wear clothes to hide certain areas...but only I know the truth of my revolt towards my body...
I apologise if this posting seems like a big pity party...as a matter of fact, it is...
I'm just so sad...
Well laqdies and gents, my laundry's done now so I must go...take care and God's belssings to all.
Shebee
2 comments:
I'm so very sorry you're feeling so down. But glad to see that you're blogging again.
I have some questions for you: When did the weight gain begin? Do you think it might have anything to do with the meds? If it is a side effect of the meds, it might be a good reason to talk to your doctor about trying something else. Some people have become diabetic because of psychiatric drugs and the weight gain they cause.
I don't want to scare you, but I think this is something worth looking into.
(((Shebee))) I hope you feel a bit better. I have recieved tons of encouragement on making healthy choices, and i know you have also been making efforts in that direction. Even though you can't see the results right away, that doesn't mean its not happening!!! :) Remember, patience pays off :)
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