Discouragement sucks

I haven't blogged in a while as I always blog when I'm feeling shitty. Therefore, I have been feeling pretty good lately...until today. I know that I shopuld share my joys and sorrows on this thing, but for me, I need an outlet when I feel down or hwen I'm on the low swing of my bipolarness.
Ther are a couple of people that I work with that I feel condemned by. I feel that they don't respect me, and that they are annoyed by me. I am a people pleaser so you can imagine the emotional torment that I'm feeling right now. Ugh.
Why do I care so much? Probaly stems from my childhood. When I was between the ages of 9-12 I was really heavy for my age and got teased quite a lot and scorned by the other girls around me. I think that the insecurites from that time in my life are manifesting. I feel so awkward around strong female personalities. I am angry at them and I feel very vulnerable. I have been really working hard at managing my anger as the Lord has opened my eyes to see the extent of the hurt I've been causing my loved ones. Is He dealing with me about this also? Probably. I hate this journey sometimes. I feel lost and scared. I just want to go home, lie down, and eat some cookies. That's my flesh talking though.