I haven't blogged in a while as I always blog when I'm feeling shitty. Therefore, I have been feeling pretty good lately...until today. I know that I shopuld share my joys and sorrows on this thing, but for me, I need an outlet when I feel down or hwen I'm on the low swing of my bipolarness.
Ther are a couple of people that I work with that I feel condemned by. I feel that they don't respect me, and that they are annoyed by me. I am a people pleaser so you can imagine the emotional torment that I'm feeling right now. Ugh.
Why do I care so much? Probaly stems from my childhood. When I was between the ages of 9-12 I was really heavy for my age and got teased quite a lot and scorned by the other girls around me. I think that the insecurites from that time in my life are manifesting. I feel so awkward around strong female personalities. I am angry at them and I feel very vulnerable. I have been really working hard at managing my anger as the Lord has opened my eyes to see the extent of the hurt I've been causing my loved ones. Is He dealing with me about this also? Probably. I hate this journey sometimes. I feel lost and scared. I just want to go home, lie down, and eat some cookies. That's my flesh talking though.
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3 comments:
Oh Shebee it's nice that you are blogging again. Blogging is a nice outlet for all our pent up emotions. No use bottling them up inside us. They will just cause us depressions and other emotional stresses. Write anything you want. It's therapeutic and give you the chance to relate to others. Thanks for the post. Smile always. God bless and have a wonderful and pleasant weekend.
i have the same problem with strong female personalities, and was teased for acne as a teen/pre-teen. I've been struggling with something - depression, or who knows what, for years and years. a connection, i guess...?
Hi Shebee,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family. May you all enjoy the best of the holiday season. God bless and have a warm and cozy holiday in the US.
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