Well, I worked both of my days off and to tell you the truth...it wasn't so bad after all of my moaning and whining about it. Besides, I got overtime for both shifts because I didn't know about them until the day before. That sure does pay the bills! And one of my coworkers decided to take my Saturday shift so that at least I had one day to recooperate (even though all I did was vegetate in front of the tv/computer).
Now I'm sitting here on my break at work again. Ho hum. I still can't seem to completely escape the paranoia that my manager thinks I'm a crappy worker. However, he did ask me to do a more challenging case. Wow. What a miracle. I think I need some couselling on the subject.
People, I really don't want to smoke anymore. It's so disgusting, and really, the only good reason I started was not because of stress, (as I have stated in previous posts), but because I am a sheep and I followed my husband's acts. I feel so unindiviual. Not to mention I feel guilt because I am a Christian and I shouldn't be smoking. How did I ever start? I used to think it was the most disgusting habit on earth. I vehemently opposed Brad's smoking, saying to him that he had to quit before we got married, or else. Well, we've been married now for almost two years, and about a year and a half of that has been occupied by me smoking!!! Barf-o-ramma. I feel so weak and gross everytime I have one. What gives? Well, the upside is that I've only had 2 today, ususally it would have been 4 by this time, so I am trying at least a little.
I had to miss my bipolar support group last week and it has really been felt. I really need to connect with those that are in the same boat as me. That's why this is such a great place for me (and obviously you guys and gals) to blab all of my crapola.
Anyways, breakie is over and I must go. Thanks for reading :)
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7 comments:
Those that suffer from bipolar disorder are so vulnerable to smoking addiction, they smoke at a much higher rate than the general population. We usually cannot be social smokers. That being said, I certainly don't consider it a sin if someone takes some relief from smoking.
hey girl!
i tried and tried to comment to you the other day (blogger was down).
i am sorry i disappeared for a bit, and thank you so much for being there and supporting me, during that mixed state (ugh!)
i wanted to tell you that you are being too hard on yourself....
granted, I grew up in a very moral-enforced Christian home...so i always have confused actions with Christianity...
but, honey, Jesus loves you regardless of whether or not you smoke!
now, it is not the best health habit, but hey...everyone has something...and, like Jon said, so many people with bipolar smoke.
***it may, though, be causing too much anxiety in you, regarding your relationship with God---like, maybe you can't come to peace with it...and if that is the case, then maybe look at quitting.
if you do, ask the doctor to help wean you off...smoking is one of the most addictive behaviors, plus chemicals. So, it would be very natural to need help weaning off.
big hugs...and ~relax~
dancer
We all have some form of habits good or bad - no one is perfect!
Don't be so hard on yourself:)
You are a good person -
My habit is coffee. I drink liters of it. I´m sure, One day, someone will decide that it is an evil addiction as well.
I love you - and God loves you - no matter what. But you know that.
Did you make it to Living Room? Would love to hear about it, but Janice doesn´t use email, so I´ll be in the dark until I return.
I love you people...you are truly the most encouraging group known to mankind. Bless you.
smoking is one of the hardest things to stop, but when I stopped the thing for me was my hands need something to do, it was either eating or bitting nails ( neither very good for you) Working out might help. If you decide to quite you should get the help of your husband because it will be harder if you around someone who is still smoking.
Hey Shebee! How are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a long while. Hope all's ok.
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