I am not good enough. Never have been, never will be.
I just erased a paragraph of this blog because I figured that it wasn't 'good' enough. I feel like such a loser. I can't even be myself on an anonymous blog. What a loser. I've been having a lot of negative thoughts as of recent (as if you haven't noticed). I'm not doing this to get attention. I genuinely feel like shit. If anyone cares, cool. If not, oh well.
I don't think I have time for this blog anymore. I suck no matter where I go. I hate me very much.
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9 comments:
HI, I wanted to visit your blog because I've been praying for many of you that need a touch from the Lord. I'm sorry you feel so worthless ,but I need to tell you thats A lie.I read your comments to others and these people your encouraging need you ,big time .My son suffers with Bipolar disorder,It tears me apart to see him feel sometimes as you are feeling ,but this too shall pass.I know that sometimes you can just about pray, but God knows your every thought.I would like to pray not just some generic prayer,but pray along with you specifically.Last year we recieved a surprise from our church.They gave my partner and I,the privilige of becoming Missionaries.12 years ago I felt led to pray that God would send me some compassionate christians that would reach-out to my friends with special needs .My sunday school class,is made up of adults with a myriad of disabilities.I grew up struggling with learning disabilities myself,My mom was an abandoned child along with 4 sisters,she too suffered with bipolar but we never knew what it was till my son was diagnosed with it.Its no accident that I stumbled on your blog,so tell me how I can pray for you,God will hear the cry of our hearts.I dont have A sight but I'll keep visiting you. May God give younew hope and peace in your life.lookin to Jesus Dave M.
Don't give up on your blog! You have to remember that although it is YOUR ONLINE JOURNAL...NO ONE can see you! It is your place to be YOURSELF and let your frustrations out!
Even though we all care about each other..WE are STILL a Lighted Computer Screen and unfortunately we all will probably never meet...
So be who you are...and be proud of who you are!!!
Don't give up...I would miss you and I might have to come your way and make sure you keep blogging!!
I erase my blog posts too. I beat myself up for it too. Let's start a club. :)
I hope you're feeling better today.
Shebee, we need to talk.
This is the single most BEST place for you to find some help- there are so many friends here INCLUDING ME who share your load, your burdens of being someone who struggles with mood and self esteem... we're all in it TOGETHER here and that is the beauty of this blogging site! You are a VERY wonderful and special person, not just to God, not just to your family and your husband, not just to me, but also to all of your friends and all of your friends here. What a huge network! And the friends here are SPECIAL too because we can IDENTIFY TOTALLY with where we're all coming from. This is a total gift. Be encouraged. I'm going to stay on your butt to keep writing because i know i CAN!
Love you, Chalexa
Keep your blog for YOU, and no one else. This is how I think for ME. If no one reads my blog, I don't give a damn. I write it to get my thoughts out...to catch a depression or hypo before it gets out of control, and just to have fun. Don't worry that a paragraph isn't "good enough". Did it describe how you felt? Did it say what you wanted it to say? Then it's "good enough".
YOU are good enough.
Shebee: I've been away from checking other people's blogs and I'm SORRY. I wish you wouldn't feel this way. There is no need to feel this way. Please keep writing. I care about you and I know that God loves you. Please believe that.
Thinking about you and praying for you. Love, marja
Thank you all for your comments, you have all encouraged me and the prayers you have prayed have been felt. I am feeling a bit better now...still fighting off the feelings of insecurity, but I know it's a journey. Today I prayed a real heart felt prayer for the first time in months. God is working in my life and I owe all of you a big thank you for the prayers you have sent up for me. God bless you all.
Shebee
Hate... hate is another word for fear. Fear can't protect you from yourself - but it can scare you into the feeling of worthlessness. You can't be worthless - you write from your heart and you share with strangers. Thank you, you matter.
Thank you, Shebee, for sharing your thoughts. I was browzing the internet looking for something about how I felt. Reading your blog made me feel like I'm not alone. I feel so rejected and abandoned by God. I feel like such loser. My wife is tired of having a beat up and bitter husband. I want so much to be accepted by God and by others. I try really hard, but it seems when everything is going well, I do something stupid to cause me to be again unworthy of God's love.
Anyway, I'm sorry you feel bad too. Maybe it's a day to day struggle. I hope today is a good day for you.
Mike
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