Uncomfortable in my own skin

Feeling very ....weird today. Last night wasn't good either. Is it another mixed state? Did I end up throwing up my meds on Sunday morning? I just feel so out of sorts and all over the place. Extremely paranoid for one thing...I hate this...dread creeps into my gut and I can't seem to get it out. I feel like an awful person. An awful wife, and awful friend, an awful employee...you get the idea. Maybe this is depression rearing its ugly head again. Who knows. I don't!
Sometimes I wonder if I should even be working anymore. I know I'm productive when I get there (for the most part), but it's the fear, the dread, and the getting there that feels sooooo difficult. I don't feel as though anyone of my staff members would be kind and understanding if they really knew what was going on in my personal life. I feel as though half of them have already guessed, and those are the half that have little or no compassion for people suffering with mental illness.
Only 3 months left though, before I go on my maternity leave...only 3 months...
I can do this!!!
God, please give me an understanding friend at work...please...let me be able to vent every now and then to them...please help me out of this slimy pit that I seem to have sunken into... and please help my family understand me better so that they can help me better...please help us to get through the move to our new house without me going completely insane, and please give me grace towards my sister-in-law, so that I hold no resentment towards her. Thank you for Your goodness and Your grace. Please give me the strength that I do not have. I love you Lord. Amen.