Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Not sure what to type today...just not feeling so hot lately is all. My mind is all jumbled so this may not make a lot of sense.
I had a bit of a melt down last night (I say a bit...my husband and mother thought it was more than a bit). I spazzed out and took off with the car for 15 minutes when my husband came home from work. I have been experiencing massive cabin fever since my hubby is still trying to get his vehicle up and running. It's not like I didn't do anything yesterday either...I went to the lake with my sister and her kids. Still, I guess 'cause I felt like a beached whale, didn't have my swimming suit, and wasn't very comfy, it wasn't the outing that I really needed (what that outing is, I don't know).
I was upset with my husband for 2 reasons:

1) lately he has been teasing me about my HUGEness - I know he does it out of fun, but I already feel unattractive enough. Yes I'm carrying a child, but I have gained almost 60 lbs on an already chubby frame, my face is puffy and I have stretch marks all over...ugh. No amount of make-up or hair fixing seems to do anything.

2) as soon as he gets home, he goes to work on his car. I've been home all day; pregnant and kinda lonely, thinking that he thinks I'm a huge unattractive heifer. Then he goes and does something else away from me. Huh. No wonder I think he's serious when he teases me.

So, back to my 'peeling out of the driveway' moment - yeah, I came back 15 minutes later and told my hubby how I felt. He was quite understanding and apologised. He then went and had a shower, and I watched some dumb show on TV. I still didn't feel much better when he came back though. I was still feeling sorry for myself and he got very frustrated with me because of it.
I then called my mom to ask if we could 'borrow' some groceries. She seemed frustrated with me asking so I then told her to forget about it and hung up.
I then had the immense urge to clean up our pig pen house so I started the dishes. My hubby came rushing in and told me he would do them but I didn't care. I wanted to get them done. I then proceeded to clean the entire kitchen and sweep the entire house. Then I mopped the floor. At this time my mom showed up with a bunch of groceries - instead of being grateful and gracious to my poor mother I said, 'What are you doing here???' She was understandingly taken aback by my rudeness. She put the groceries in the kitchen, asked me how I was as I was madly cleaning the floors (to which I shrugged and said 'fine' as I was sweating, huffing and puffing), went outside to breath for a couple of minutes and then left in a huff. I don't blame her. I was being a total bitch. I eventually called her to apologise, again, in manic-y manner. Shge was quite understanding and kind to me, despite how mean I had just been to her. I'm lucky to have such a good mom.
I then continued with my obsessive cleaning regimen when my hubby came and asked me, quite forcefully, to stop and calm down. I eventually did, as my back was aching and I don't think that physically I could have done anymore anyways. Then hubby and I sat down and watched some TV. I swear, 10 minutes later I was completely restored to 'normal Shelly'.
Was that a manic/mixed state, or was it a hormonal influx? Or does it even matter? I don't know...
I do know however, that I am 3 days overdue and really want to meet my baby! There is a lot to think about right now...
I don't know what else to type anymore. My hands hurt anyways. Whatever.

2 comments:

marja said...

Hi Shelly,
I've heard that when a mother is about to go into labour she starts cleaning like crazy. Am I the only one who has heard of that/

Anyway, Shelly, I've been trying to get a hold of you. You have a new phone number and a new email address, I believe, because the old ones aren't working anymore. Could you please call me or email? marja@livingroomsupport.org.

And how are we going to know when the baby arrives? Will Brad call me or Diana at the church? We'd like to know.

Thinking of you, praying, and can hardly wait to hold your new baby.

shebee said...

Well Marja,
I've heard that too, but nowhere does it say she'll be a total b with an itch at the same time!!! Besides, it didn't work anyways! I'm still pregnant!
What do you do. Anyways, I've sent you an e-mail with my updated info :) Hope you're well!