I did so well yesterday with my eating and excersizing...and then, last night I was totally hypo-manic: cleaning like a feand, unable to settle down, trying to forget about my 'business' with tv (which didn't work) and then finally, eating almost everything I could get my hands on. I was sooooo tempted to do the whole bulemic thing (I struggled mildly with that a couple of years back), but I managed to control myself. But all my hard work...for what??? Just to pig out that night? What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I set myself up for failure? What has made me hate myself so much that I have to sabotage everything that is good for me??? F*%K!!! I am sooooo angry!!! Now starts the sadness...oh shit...
Sorry guys, I'm too emotional to contuinue...please pray for me...I feel so hopeless, completely hopeless...I hate this bullshit. Sorry about all the swearing.
Shebee
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2 comments:
girl, you need ativan and a phone! were you alone? I hope today went better... thank you for your comments!
Please don't hate yourself. God doesn't. He LOVES you, difficult as it may be to believe that right now.
I've only met you once, but I do care for you already and hate to see you feeling like this.
Please try to be good to yourself. Chalexa is probably right in your needing something to help you through this. What a crazy life, eh?
I'll be praying for you, Shebee.
Love, marja
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