Yesterday, I was angry at the world...today, I am terrified. I'm afraid that I have to go back to work tomorrow; petrified that I'm singing in a choir this Christmas and don't know the songs yet and don't think that my voice is good enough; horrifed about leaving the house in this big 'fat suit' (my word for having a lot of extra weight)...please God, help me...
I can't relate very well with one of my best friends...she's just so petite and lady-like - I feel like a complete oager compared to her...
My thoughts are so random, I know...I really wish that support group was tomorrow (btw Marja, thanks soooo much for puttting that together).
I am so afraid, so lonely, so isolated...
I am going down in my paxil and up in my lamotirigine...maybe that's why I'm all over the map.
I just need God's Peace right now...
Good night.
Shebee
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3 comments:
Please just remember that you aren't alone. You will be okay & everything will go smoothly.
I'm sorry, Shebee.
Amazing,isn't it, how feelings - these things you can't touch - are SO real and can cause so much pain? But your mood WILL change. (How interesting this bipolar life is, isn't it - never know where you're going to be from day to day? I like to tell people that my life isn't boring thanks to this disorder.)
BTW, Thank you so much for the comments you left on my blog. I so much appreciated them. I, too, look forward to the next group mtg. In the meantime, we'll "talk" here, ok?
Just hang in there, this is the time when us bipolars all understand and remind eachother that it does come back together, and what goes down comes back up.
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